Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Ten Ways To Start A Conversation At The Thanksgiving Table

Friends, Family, Food, and Conversation – All are in great supply at Thanksgiving time. Image Credit: uwm.edu

Ten Ways To Start A Conversation At The Thanksgiving Table

After arriving at our Thanksgiving destination this afternoon, we at MAXINE turned on our internet connection and launched to listen to Hugh Hewitt for his drive-time pre-Thanksgiving warm up show.

After talking with Mark Styne and reading some of the new and damning accusations that are coming out on Romney and Huckabee, Hugh proposed that we explore ways on how to start contentious conversations with the political Left … and later, the political Right members of the friends and family gathered at the table for the Thanksgiving Feast.

The following is a sample of what conversation starters Hugh, members of the audience, and we at MAXINE came up with:

For Leftys -

ONE) Hillary looks like she has gained weight.

TWO) I really believe that Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld are two of the greatest Americans to have never to become President.

THREE) I understand that Halliburton has been nominated for an award as one of the most transparently run corporations in America.

FOUR) That Nancy Pelosi gal over in Congress sure is a lot easier on the eyes than old Denny Hastert.

FIVE) I’m thinking of investing my 401K in Dibold Corporation, you know, the voting machine company. I understand that now is a good time to get in.

SIX) The run up and then the going into Iraq was one of the best foreign policy processes and decisions of the past decade.

SEVEN) I’ve studied the proposition and water-boarding is really not that big a deal.

Eight) I wonder what they are eating in Guantanamo tonight?

Nine) Bring Ann Coulter’s book to the table and open it then say, There is something for everyone in here, you know!

TEN) Isn’t it amazing that all of those people who award the Nobel Peace Prize didn’t know that Al Gore is a fraud?


For the Righty’s –

ONE) Rosie O’Donnell would have been good for a whole hour over at MSNBC.

TWO) You know, Valarie Plame really was an undercover CIA agent.

THREE) Sean Penn knows how to use his celebrity to show how courageous Americans can be.

FOUR) The dream act was a pretty good idea at solving our immigration problem.

FIVE) The facts about what is going on in Iraq do not matter.

SIX) I think issuing drivers licenses to the undocumented is a good idea, it promotes safety.

SEVEN) I heard that for some of us, Thanksgiving is a time for mourning.

Eight) What are we going to do now that we have all of these groups developing research using the Embryonic stem cells now that stem cells can be made from skin? I say keep ‘em in place. The Embryonic type have to be of better quality.

Nine) Do you think they are going to swap pesos with the AMERO, one-for-one?

TEN) Gee, I wonder what Al Gore is eating right now?

Now then, just add paced amounts of alcohol and blend gently. Make sure that you stock up on steaks in the garage refrigerator … they make a good poultice for a black eye.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving from all of us at MAXINE!








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